The Standard of Grace

I know, the title seems quite literally, a contradiction of what we know about grace. Grace as we come to the knowledge of it is unmerited favor, something you don’t work for, you don’t strive to have, but is given to you freely just because it is given. Now with that said, this is the foundation for what standards a person must have in choosing a partner.

How can such a free, unbiased, and universal trait be the foundation of standards in choosing a lifelong partner? Well, you see, it goes back to what Paul said to the romans in chapter 3. It is true that none of us is worthy. All of us, no matter what color, height, weight, habit or even education cannot achieve the standards.

To which standards am I referring to well you can check the 613 laws in the Old Testament for reference, or maybe the 10 commandments that God gave to Moses, or maybe let’s try the two most important commandments given by Jesus Christ. None can achieve this so easily and so, grace is our foundation in achieving the unachievable through Jesus.

What does this have to do with the standards in having a relationship?

In truth, no one will ever be fit to our standards. I repeat no one, so what’s the point in having standards if no one can achieve them?

Here’s the deal, sometimes, our standards are filled with unnecessary things. That’s why no one can achieve them. So here I’m going to classify them into two to allow us to have these standards without being unattainable, founded in grace and still is useful for measurement.

First, is the standard that cannot be changed, moved or altered in any manner. It is called the non-negotiables these are standards that make or break a relationship. Then there is off course the negotiables, those standards that are quite frankly just self-preserving, and aesthetic that it barely has any big implication when it comes to the relationship itself.

The negotiables are really just things you want your future partner to have. Mostly physical traits, some, just habits you enjoy and hope that she would also have.

The non-negotiables on the other hand are characteristics you cannot live without, and having a partner that does not have them, will throw your life off course and just blatantly turn you away from your purpose. For example, as a Christian, one of my non-negotiables is that, my partner should have a beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ as well. Thinking about a life with a partner without such trait, would inexplicably, put me in the wrong track of my life’s purpose.

These non-negotiables are traits that when one has, you will assume that they have a whole set of other traits incorporated with this one. And so here is where grace will be applied.

Just because He or She has a relationship with Christ does not mean they are perfect models of Christianity

Might I remind you of what Paul said to the Philippians?

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

You see, Christianity is an ongoing process of change, from one form to another, in fact, the idea of Christianity is that of metamorphosis, and just like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, it takes time. So expecting a perfectly made Christian delivered at your door step is a very fallible idea.

To summarize, the standard one needs is a standard that is axiomatic to who they are. One, cannot simply, choose a partner based on raging waves of emotions. With that said we must also remember that we are all a work in progress and looking at one flaw, as opposed, to the entirety of a person, is just simply judgmental. As for me my greatest standard lies in my greatest love, of which can only be found in my savior Jesus Christ. And to all those who feel the same way, then please choose someone who would be worthy of walking with you towards God’s calling. The implications of this is huge, when I say calling, know, that I am also talking about the type of life you are going to live. Just because the person is a Christian, does not mean the boot fits. Remember we are all called to do different things, place as a secondary standard, the path you are going to walk, your partner must be walking the same path or else, you will drift apart.

Though I will delve deeper into this on my next blog.

Thanks for reading,

Migel